I am Wubster B Dubson, and this is my life as a horse
by Wubster B. Dubson
Summary: "My name is Nicholas Long, or at least it used to be, until one day I was brought to some place called Equestria as a winged horse that looks like the cover image next to the f@#kin' story. I came to equestria with "supra" natural powers and apparently a destiny to be the savior of hundreds upon thousands of lives from some dark evil force threatening the land. This is my story..."
1. Chapter 1

"Greetings Nick, it's time to start your training." An unrecognizable silhouette appeared before me. I didn't put much thought into what was happening, I just went with it.

"Training? What for?" I asked. The silhouette simply replied.

"You'll find out the next time we meet." The silhouette and the dark space that had surrounded us had started to fade into light...

I woke up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. I then started to get my morning routine in motion. I was about to get up and get my pants on, but then I realized that I was already wearing my pants... great...

So instead, I just put on my long sleeved denim shirt, my white and gold Vans, and my signature grey fedora with a valkyrie on the right side.

I went downstairs and took my daily dose of captain crunch just like Emo-kun taught me. Then I went into my garage for my "Saturday cartoons". (Which is actually just an old '69 Dodge Charger R/T that me and my dad work on every once in a while. It's dark metallic green with a 512 Ci. big block V-8 pumpin' out over 700 horses at the moment)

After spending my hour of working on my car, I head back inside and wash up, then kick back and relax in my living room. (For like a second) Then I heard a knock at the door. Now remember, it's about 9:30 in the morning and I usually don't have anyone showing up at this time, and the mail doesn't come until 1-ish, so I didn't know what to expect.

I opened the door to see what's up. I saw a box sitting on my front porch. I wasn't expecting anything anytime soon, so I was confused and nervous about what it could be.

I grabbed my switchblade nicknamed "pearlesque beauty" because it has the most beautiful pearl white handle, and brought the box inside. I opened the box and looked inside. I never thought that when I did, I would have a short Saturday. I was sucked inside of the box and passed out, and I never pass out!


	2. Chapter 2:And My Eyes Were Bright Gold

"Ah Nick, you're back." I was greeted by the silhouetted woman from the my last dream.

Wh-what? What happened? Where am I?" I was confused beyond belief, and I wanted answers, now.

"You passed out after looking inside of the box, so you were brought back here for your next session with me"

"Next session? You mean our training thing-a-mah-jig? Hey, wait a minute, you said last time that you were gonna tell me what we were gonna be doing next time we met so start talkin' sister."

"Well, I'll be teaching you how to fly and how to properly control your-" There was a sudden low grumble that cut the rest of her sentence off.

"I'll tell you the rest later when you find out about it." Everything started to fade away, I was probably starting to wake up again.

"oh god damn it! Do you at least have any advice you can give me before you go?"

"Don't die." Well ain't that cheerful...

"Well that's really fuckin' helpful! I could have thought of that!" When everything had finally faded to white, I opened my eyes and stared up at a wooden ceiling. I sat up, but when I did, I had moved too quickly and felt a sharp ass pain shoot up my whole spine.

"Gah~ Fuck! That hurts so much~!" I was forced to lay back down because of this. I scooted up a little instead and looked around the room.

I looked out of the window and saw a bunch of animals outside and saw that I was in a log cabin either near, or in a forest. I had a bad feeling already, so I was about to grab my switchblade, but it was in my pants pocket, and I was afraid to make any noise leaning over to grab it. I was about to say 'fuck it' and just grab my clothes and hobble the fuck outta there, but then I heard lots of footsteps outside of the door, so I pretended to still be asleep. I heard the door open and many thunks, or something like that, enter the room. I heard six voices talking about me. They were all female voices, but I didn't doubt that they weren't psychopaths for a second. Then I heard them start to talk to each other.

"So you said that you found him all dressed up and passed out in the middle of the everfree?" The first of the group spoke, she sounded like she could be a smart person.

'I think I should highlight her first, she could be dangerous.' I thought to myself.

"Yes, I don't know why he was there, or where he came from. I just brought him back here to see if he was alright and then called all of you over here." The other girl spoke in a quiet and hushed tone, and she sounded like she could be kind.

'Like she COULD be kind, not that she isn't, I'm just making a suggestion here.'

"That does sound like the right thing to do fer 'em in his condition. That was a mighty risky move Shy, but I guess you didn't really have any other choice." The third girl spoke with a very noticable southern accent. She sounded worried but forgiving towards her friend.

"We're not mad at you Shy, we were just worried aboutcha." The fourth girl sounded kinda tomboy-ish. Just puttin' it out there. Why? For the plot of course! Now shut the hell up and eat your shit flakes!

"I'm sure she know that Dash. But Fluttershy, is it alright if I take a look at what he was wearing when you found him?" The fifth girl had a sophisticated 'air' about her, but she didn't sound like one of those stuck up narcissistic assholes.

"Oh, yes. They're over by the nightstand."

"Thank you darling."

'Uh oh, she's gonna find my knife and either think I'm crazy, or they're gonna think that I'm a threat and kill me then and there.'

"I hope he wakes up soon so I can ask him what kind of cake he likes, or if he even likes cake, or if he likes cake and is actually allergic to cake and secretly eats it like a forbidden taboo of sorts. Ooh, that would be very juicy!" The sixth girl sounded very hyper active and I took it that she really likes cake.

I sat there in silence, hearing the one girl come closer to my outfit. I was starting to freak out at that point. I had to do something, and it had to be then and there.

"Don't touch those!" I shot up, shouting with my eyes closed and my right arm stretched out. What was weird though was I couldn't feel my fingers at all. I heard the girls all yelp and a few fall on the floor. I grabbed my clothes and hastily threw them on.

"Sorry!" I still had my eyes closed as I ran out of the room.

"Hey, come back! Girls, let's go!" The first girl shouted.

I was running down a dirt road through the forest. I ran hard, and I ran fast. I could hear the thunderous rumble of what I thought was those girls chasing me on horses. My glasses were crooked on my face so when I looked back to see what's up, all I saw was a bunch of blobs of colors which I assumed was probably just their outfits. Then I saw a cyan blue blob geeting closer to me than the others. I was starting to get nervous, so I looked for a way to do something about that. I glanced up and saw a branch up ahead that was hanging low enough for me to smack it. I jumped up and smacked the branch at just the right moment so when it swung back, it whapped her right in the fezz! She then fell into a bush, dazed and confused as the others ran past her.

'I'm sure she'll be alright' I thought to myself.

'I hope...'

"Wait, come back! We just want to-" The loud, cake girl shouted something, but she was cut off as I tripped and fell down a small hill, and slid into a nearby bush. I sat quietly and waited for them to run by.

When the coast was clear, I hopped out of the bushes and fixed my glasses. The lenses were smudged... son of a bitch... I walked down the dirt road once again, and on the left side of the road so I could hop back into the bushes in case the others came back this way. I walked for about a good eight minutes before I saw a small town off in the distance that looked like it would take another five minutes to get there.

I arrived at the edge of town with my pants on and my knife holstered. The sign for the town limits read "-NYVILLE". It was very faded white wash, so that's all I could read. I started off towards the inner part of town. When I got there, I didn't see a single person anywhere for the whole time I was there. I was starting to feel very anxious about walking alone through town and looked all around me. I then walked by a big, white and purple building that looked like a big ass carousel and it was covered with glass panes. I looked into the glass and saw... I think myself. I took a step foward, and then a step back.

My blood ran cold. My skin was completely white. My hair was still parted to the side, but it was bigger, spikey, and gun metal grey with maroon red highlights with a matching tail that was shaped like a jagged lightning bolt. I had big, white wings, four hooved legs, a rectangular muzzle, and my eyes were bright gold.

"Holy shit! I-is that... me? That's so... awesome! But weird too. I gotta figure out what the hell's goin' on around here."

I didn't know what I should do, who I was gonna talk to, or where I should go next. Then again, I didn't really put much thought into it like usual. So I just said 'fuck it' and started walking around aimlessly to find just about anyone, well... except for those girls that chased me through the forest. But in their defense, I probably did come off as very suspicious being a random stranger who was a talking horse with wings that booked it outta there screaming, **and** I knocked out their friend as well.

"You know, I should probably try and appologize about that. Hopefully they don't freak out when I do." I was walking around for about three minutes until I came across a big ass tree with a door on the front.

"Woah, that's fuckin' cool. I've heard of tree houses, but this is a whole other level. I wonder if anyone lives here. Only one way to find out." I opened the door to see if anyone was actually here. I looked inside and all I could see was the light filtering through the windows and the doorway. The rest was darkness.

I stepped inside, greeted only by the dark, lingering shadows. Surrounding all but behind me. The shadows felt to me like they were watching my every move. I stood still for a moment to let my eyes adjust to the darkness. Then I started moving around again. I didn't call out for anyone because that's how you usually die in horror movies. The inside of the place had stocked-up bookshelves, so I assumed that this place was a library or somethin' like that. When I saw that there wasn't anyone here, I decided to leave, but before I left, I heard voices coming this way. I ran and shut the door and tried to look for a back door.

It was hard to see in the room, but I was still able to see that there wasn't a back door. I heard the voices outside the now. I started freaking out and looked for any other way out of the building. I saw a staircase at the right side of the room, so I made a bee line for the second floor. The door opened and the lights came on. I made it. For now, at least...

When I was at the top of the stairs, I listened in on the voices coming from downstairs. Once I heard whom the voices belonged to, mah balls jumped up inside of mah boday... It was the girls from from before!

"I wonder why that guy ran off."

"He might just have some personal problems and was probably scared and confused."

'Thanks, way to make someone feel like they're loved...'

"He's not an animal, Fluttershy. Especially if he was wearing that divine outfit."

"Whoever, or whatever he is, I'm still pissed that he hit me with a stick!" That must've been the girl that I smacked in the face with a tree branch. I wanted to appologize, but now wasn't the best time, nor place, to show my face.

"Hmm, well **whom** ever he may be, he's still gone and we can't figure out how just yet."

'All I did was smack someone with a stick and trip over a rock, so it's not that difficult to figure out.'

"I don't care if we don't know where he went, Twilight, that's all the more reason to go find him and bring him in!"

"Calm down there, sugarcube, like Fluttershy said, he was probably freightened by a group of random ponies. Plus, we don't know if he even did anythin' wrong in the first place. Look, we'll keep lookin' for em' and if we do find em', we **ain't** gonna hold em' down, pick a fight with em', or scare em' in any way. We're just gonna talk to em', ask em' why he flipped out and ran away, appologize to em', and have em' appologize to Rainbow for hittin' her wit' a stick. Ya'll got that?" The others nodded in agreement.

"Alrighty then, let's get goin' ya'll." The girls then left the house to go find me.

"Alrighty then, I guess it's time to go get caught and twerk some grah." And with those comforting words, I hopped out of the bathroom window, (but Wubster, why didn't you just do that earlier? It's called evesdropping, you _bakas..._ ) and ran after the girls to appologize for what I did, hoping that I didn't get killed in the process.

I followed behind the girls to where they stopped in front of what looked like a town hall or somethin' like that. They looked all over the place, both high and low. I was about to walk out of my hiding spot and walk by very nonchalantly, when for no reason, I looked behind me and saw a floating, cyan blue horse glaring at me. I jumped out of my skin and my hiding spot and fell on my back. Yelping with my switchblade in bake shtabe (bayk-shtayb) position, I raised my, uh, hooves I guess, in a defensive position.

"What the hell is that?!" I shouted. The others ran over to me with confused and startled expressions on their faces.

"See, I told you this guy's dangerous!" She pointed at my knife.

"Rainbow Dash, you scared the poor guy. Are you alright, mister?" A yellow horse then said, extending her hoof out to pick me up.

'She sounds like the girl that said she found me in the woods and brought me to safety.' I nodded in response and took her hoof.

"What did I tell ya'll before we left, Rainbow?" The orange horse glared fiercely at the blue one.

"We're mighty sorry 'bout that, sugarcube. We didn't scare ya'll too badly, did we?" I shook my head.

"Wow, I've never seen you around here before, and I know everypony around here on a first name basis. My name's Pinkie Pie, what's your name? I'm sure we're gonna be great friends!" I opened my mouth to speak, but then I was cut off by her. "And since you're new here, I'm gonna throw a party just for you! It's gonna have balloons, and streamers, and lots and lots of cake! Oh wait, what kind of cake do you like? Chocolatecakevanillacakestrawberrycakeredvelvetcakezebracakepicklecake? Wait, pickle cake? I wonder what that taste like? Do you know what pic-mmph mm mmff? mm mmph?"

'Holy shit, breathe for one fuckin' second in your life! Heheh!'

"Sorry, she's very... talkative..." I gave the purple one a look that said, 'ya don't fuckin' say?'

"Well, seeing as though as how you're here now, is it alright if I ask where you got that outfot? I've never seen something like that before, is it by a smaller designer?" I shook my head no again.

"Anyway, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie." She motioned her hoof towards all of her friends. They all did their respective greetings and poses, except for Rainbow, all she did was just stare me down.

"So what's your name?" They all looked at me with anticipation. Waiting for my first response.

'Alright, in the words of Cr1Tik4L, "If you equipped the sea star in a threesome, It'd be like having sex with the garage door." I mean, "Let's do this shit".'

"M-my name... uh... my name is..." They all leaned in closer to me, making me more anxious.

"My- my name... is... mmm~" I was feeling very sheepish with all of them staring at me, expecting so much outta me. Now take note, I am a **very** socially awkward man, well, not anymore because I'm... a horse... but awkward nonetheless.

"Girls, can't you see that you're making him feel uncomfortable?" The yellow horse glared at her friends, then she looked back at me. " It's okay, I know what it's like to meet somepony new and be nervous about it. So you should now that you aren't alone. Now can you tell us your name, please?" She spoke so soothingly, and she **did** make me feel better about this, but the other reason why I didn't say anything yet was because I haven't come up with a fake name yet... shit... wait, I got it! It's perfect...

"My name... my name is Wubster. Wubster B. Dubson... uh..."

'If I don't say somethin' else, I might sound depressing... wait, why does that sound familiar?'

*Cough, cough* Infinite Stratos, episode one... *Cough, cough*

'Whatever narrator...'

"Uhm... that's all." They all suddenly fell over out of disappointment.

"Well shit, it's **exactly** like episode one of Infinite Stratos..." They all got back up and regained their composure.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Wubster, We welcome you to our town of Ponyville." Twilight gave me a warm smile, to which I smiled back.

"Thank you, but let me take care of somethin' real quick." I walked over to Rainbow Dash.

"You're Rainbow Dash, right?" She nodded at my question.

"I'm terribly sorry for hittin' you in the face with a branch and pullin' a knife on you, and I'm sorry to everyone else for causing such an uproar and frightening you girls."

"It's alright, sugarcube, we forgive ya, and we're all sorry fer scarin' ya'll as well."

"I accept your appology."

"Well, since we're all friends now, let's... party!"

"I like your attitude, pink one, let the conga time commence! Oh, and to answer your question, I like red velvet cake. And **NO** pickle cakes, ya got that?"

"Gotcha! I still wonder what pickle cake taste like."

"It probably taste like a god damn pickle! Hehehe!" She giggled at my remark as we started walking to another part of town.

We stopped in front of a big building that looked like an giant ginger bread house. The sign of the front said "Sugar Cube Corner".

"Yeesh, just lookin' at the place is givin' me a toothache."

"Don't worry Wub, you'll get used to it. Well, depending on how long you'll be staying in Ponyville."

"I guess I've got no other choice, do I?" The girls all gave me confused looks, wondering what I meant by that. I knew what they were thinking, so I answered their question.

"I'll tell you guys some other time, okay?" They all smiled and nodded.

"Alrighty then, let's head in." I opened the door and was greeted by... more darkness... I started thinking about how I still haven't seen any other townsfolk around here except for the girls. I had the lock off of my switchblade because I still felt a little on edge since an ENTIRE town has no one else in it besides these six pony girls.

"Hey girls, I was wondering about somethin'. Is there anyone else in this town?"

"There's plenty of ponies around here, Wub!"

"Alright, but where are they though?" My question was soon answered when I turned on the lights and the whole fuckin' village jumped up and shouted "SURPRISE!", which initially scared the living shit out of me. I fell on my ass, wide-eyed, with one hoof on my chest, and the other holding my switchblade.

"*Pant, pant, pant* Shit, that's where everyone's been, heheh *sigh*..." I chuckled and put my knife away and got back up. Twilight walked, or trotted, over to me, squinting and observing me closely.

"You know Wubster, you intrigue me."

"Really? I didn't know I could be interesting to anybody."

"Like your accent, and the way you say things like every'body' instead of every'pony', and how you where so much clothing, and how you took your knife out, almost like it's second nature to you."

'Well, I do collect and practice using knives.'

"I guess... I did grow up in south Florida, so that's probably why I have such a casual, laid back way of speaking. And the reason why I take my knife out like that is because I've been practicing using knives ever since I was 14 years old, so I guess it's become a habit of mine. And I always just dress this way." When I say south Florida, I don't mean that I'm 'southern' south, I just say words like "something" and "fucking" as "sumpthin' " and "fuckin' ", but I don't say "in" for every "-ing" word. And I **DON'T** say "I" like "ah" or "ya'll". Anyway, back to the story!

"C'mon Twilight, save the questions for later, now it's conga time, babies!"

Everyone got to partying after that. There were balloons and streamers everywhere, just like Pinkie said there would. And there were sweets galore! After a little while, all of the kids, or fillies and colts, went home, or went somewhere to play, or some shit like that. Then Applejack brought out a large, wooden barrel that had a label on the side that read "Apple Family Hard Apple Cider, Property of Sweet Apple Acres"

"Ya'll up fer a drink?" Everyone cheered, and went up to the barrel.

"Ah think that the stallion of the hour should have the first mug, c'mon over here, Wubster!" Everyone looked back at me.

"N-no, it's alright, I don't really want any, but thanks for the offer." I started shinking back a little.

'Uh oh, this is bad. I swore that I would never drink alcohol in my life. Not after what dad was like when I was a kid... I can get through this. I can do it.' I thought to myself.

"Oh come on, Wubster. Just have a cup, it's soo good!"

"I doubt that, Rainbow." I retorted.

"Yeah, Wub. Live a little. Even Twilight likes to drink from time to time." Pinkie said.

"I don't care, Pinkie. I said I didn't want any."

"Oh come on, Wubby Dubby, just a little, for me?" Rarity jokingly slurred.

"Et too, Rarity? Et too?"

"Aw quit yer bullshittin', Wubster. Just take a sip." Applejack went up to me with a mug of fresh cider, holding it close to my face. I was starting to get pissed off as she shoved it in my face.

"It's really good, Wubster~" She swayed the mug back and forth in my face, it's off-putting scent wafting up my nose.

'Okay, now I'm fuckin' mad!' I had finally snapped.

"I said... NO!" I smacked the mug out of her grasp, but when I hit the mug, a bright gold flash flared up and the mug exploded upon impact with none of the cider spilling on the floor, just a sizzling noise, and a small cloud of steam floating above where the cup was.

"H-ho-how... how did I do that?" I said softly.

Everyone stared at me in shock and somewhat fear. I stood there, scared out of my mind because of what I had just done. So I did what anyone else would do... The wild Wubster fled!

"Wait, don't go, Wubster!" Pinkie shouted. I left Sugar Cube Corner and ran through the town to no place in particular, I just ran and ran.

I stopped running after about two minutes, not because I was tired, but because I felt like I had to stop right there and just sit down and calm myself. So I just sat on the ground in front of a random house. My eyes were starting to get glassy, but I didn't cry. I remembered what my childhood was like. My dad was an alcoholic when I was a child. He would drink almost every night. He would argue with my mom and usually lost, but he would **never** hit her. He would curse profusely, and start arguements out of old, forgotten topics, ot something completely irrelevant. And when you would have thought that he was finished, he would walk right back into the room and start complaining about the same god damn thing.

My dad got better, though. One day, a friend from work came up to him saying that he was selling a 1969 Dodge Charger R/T. No rust, very solid, but needed new parts for the interior, engine, and chassis. He told my dad that he was selling it for $2,300, but since he was a friend with a son who's sixteenth birthday was coming up, he'd sell it to him for $1,000 instead, so he took him up on the offer. When my dad went to see his therapist, he told him about how he had just bought a project car for his son's birthday. His therapist told him that we could both mend our bond as father and son, and that it would help with our emotional problems if we both built something together. And ever since that day, we've been working on the same Dodge Charger that's in my garage and getting closer than ever. That was 8 years ago. Even though we've gotten better, here I am, sitting in the dirt, having a breakdown about it. We will never be completely healed, but we try, and I don't think I'll ever be able to go back home and finish the car with my dad. And the thought of never being able to see my family and them never being able to see me again pushed me over the edge and I started sobbing as I sat there.

While I sat there, I failed to notice a slightly grey unicorn with spikey hair just like mine coming this way, except her hair was two different shades of electric blue. She worn purple aviators, and had two bags of groceries on either side of her body. She was also wearing headphones and listening to music, so she didn't hear me sobbing, nor could she see me since she was wearing sunglasses and it was dark outside. I'd say, '8 o' clock' dark. She took off her headphones and glasses when she opened her door. It was at that moment when she realized that I was sitting in front of her house. Crying.

"Huh? Hey, what's wrong, dude?" She asked me.

"*Sniff* Huh? Wh-who are you?" I looked up at the unicorn and saw her beautiful, magenta eyes.

She stared back at me and saw how I was very dressed up (by their standards) and how my golden eyes glowed in the dark, nighttime setting. I noticed that she started blushing a little and turned her head away slightly. Don't worry, I did the exact same thing. I got up off of the ground and wiped my eyes dry, taking off my glasses to do so, and then I decided to introduce myself.

"Sorry to be rude, my names's Wubster B. Dubson. It's nice to meet you miss...?" I waited for her to introduce herself back.

"Scratch, Vinyl Scratch. I take it that you're the guy that Pinkie Pie was throwing a party for this time?"

"Is it because I'm all dressed up? Well, by your people's standards."

"No, the name Wubster sounded familiar, that's all. So, will you be in town for long?"

"Well, I just got here, and I don't think that I'll be able to go back home for a long, long time, so yeah, I guess I will."

"Great! Oh wait a sec, since you're new here, then that must mean that you don't have anywhere to sleep tonight, do you?"

"Shit, I didn't even think about that. Oh well, I'll probably either build a shack out of scrap wood, or just be awake all night."

"What? Don't do that dude. Uhm... You could stay here, if you want to." She faintly blushed and turned away from me again. I wondered why she was being so shy around me. It's not like I think of myself as attractive, but maybe I'm actually a hunk in this place... Nah! I couldn't become attractive even in my own story. Also, why was she acting like this when we only just met? Oh well, as long as it means that we get to end the chapter soon, then fuck it.

"Are you sure?" She looked back at me and nodded.

"Alright, I thank you for welcoming me into your home, miss Scratch."

"Just call me Vinyl."

"I will, I was just bein' goofy. Did it work?" She giggled lightly.

"Hehehe! Yeah, it worked." We both stepped inside. She went into her kitchen to put her groceries away, while I sat down on a couch for the first time in this chapter. Vinyl then called out to me from the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Wub, I forgot to mention, I live here with a room mate. Her name's Octavia, and she can be very... nit-picky about some things, like me inviting strangers to spend the night in our house. So when she get's here, try not to upset her, for both my sake, and yours"

"Gotcha, but she's not a stuck-up-fuck, is she?" Vinyl chuckled.

"Hehe, no Wub, at least not most of the time." After she finished putting away her groceries, Vinyl came out into the living room and sat next to me on the couch.

"So Vinyl, is there any kind of schedule that I should know of while I'm here? And where am I gonna be sleeping tonight?" I looked over to Vinyl when I saw that she had a blank look in her eyes, a goofy smile, and a big blush on her face.

"Uhm, Vinyl? You okay?" She snapped out of her stupor when I poked her in the shoulder.

"H-huh? Oh, no, no schedule, but Octavia does sleep trot at, like, three in the morning, so watch out for that. And you''l be sleeping on a futon in my room tonight. Heheh..." She started to get that goofy look again, so I said "fuck it" once more and just sat there.

'I need an adult... Wait, I am an adult. Sheeeet...' My thoughts, and Vinyl's day-wet dreaming were both interrupted by the front door opening and a grey pony walking in.

"Oh hey! I take it that you're Octavia?" She stared fiercely at Vinyl and I, leering, almost.

"Uh... Please don't hurt me, Vinyl brought me inside on her own!" At first, she was confused, but then she started glaring at Vinyl.

"Vinyl Scratch!" She yelled, bringing Vinyl out of her stupor again.

"*Slurp* Huh? Wh-what? Oh, hey Octy! You're back! Heheh..." Vinyl blushed a little and started shrinking down into a little anime chibi Vinyl to hide her face, and Octavia shrunk down as well to yell at her. While they were arguing at hyper kawaii levels of daw-ness, I still sat on the couch and thought about what I was going to do now.

'I don't know if there is anything that I can do to get back home. I've got no money, no job, and no way of seeing my family. All I've got is my shirt, my hat, my glasses, my knife, and *gasp!* my phone!' I had forgotten all about my phone. Probably because my phone hasn't even been mentioned once in the story until now. But that's not the point. I pulled out my Galaxy S6 Edge, with a custom white carbon fibre back cover, and unlocked it... somehow... I was greeted with the time, what the weather was like in south Florida, Gmail, a flashlight app, youtube, the steam app, and my background picture of mom and I standing in front of the pearlescent white '68 COPO Camaro that I built for her. I remembered that day; the day that I finally gave my mother something nice for once. I looked at the top of my screen. To my surprise, I saw that there was one bar of service. I felt a small shred of hope when I saw that there was service somewhere. I got off of the couch to talk to Vinyl and Octavia, whom were still argueing in chibi size.

"Hey! I'm gonna go to bed, so keep it down, please? And Octavia, I'm terribly sorry that Vinyl allowed a complete stranger, like myself, to sleep in your house without your consent, but I would be very grateful if you let me stay in your house for a day, or two, at least."

"What?! Nopony said anything about you staying the night! Vinyl Scratch..." Octavia turned towards Vinyl with a scowling look.

"Wait, please let me stay for just one night! I have nowhere else to go besides here. I'll do whatever you want, I'll follow whatever rules you want me to. Well, as long as they aren't totally unfair. And I won't do anything to disturb you. Just please let me stay the night."

"Hmm... I... I guess you can stay for **ONE** night, but It's not because I'm being nice to you, or anything like that! It's just that we need another pony to help pay our rent!" She puffed out her cheeks, and turned her head away and up. I'm also pretty sure that she was slightly blushing, too.

'Seriously? Now I've gotta live with a british tsundere, too?'

"Thank you so much miss Octavia. I promise not to be a burden, miss Octavia!" Calling her 'miss' Octavia was the biggest mistake that I had made so far.

"M-miss... Oc-Octavia?... Uhm~ hehe, ho oh~ from now on, yo-you must also only call me 'miss' Octavia, or else I'll kick you to death. Got it?" She blushed, moaned, giggled mischeviously, and socked me in the arm a couple of times when she said that.

'Well shit, trying to be polite seems to have gotten me caught in a tsundere's grasp, which is like getting completely surronded by half a mile of bear traps. Fuck it, I'll deal with it tomorrow.'

"Alrighty then, I'm gonna go to bed, then. Oh wait, I just remembered, I was wondering, could either of you help me with somethin' tomorrow?"

"I'll help ya, Wub!"

"I will come, too. Somepony has to keep an eye on Vinyl. And I do not feel comfortable with Vinyl being left alone with a stranger. Especially somepony that carries a large knife with them, and can make cups of cider explode."

"You were at the party, too?"

"Everypony was, well, except for Vinyl, who was out of town buying groceries since everypony was waiting to surprise you at the party."

"Alrighty then. So Vinyl, could you please show me to your room and get that futon that you told me about?"

"What?! Y-y-you can't sleep with Vinyl! I-I-I mean, it's not safe for Vinyl! So I suggest that you sleep in my room so I can keep my eye on you..."

"He's **MY** guest, Octavia, so he should sleep in my room!"

"Yes, but he is also **OUR** new room mate, so he should sleep in my room!"

"If he's 'our' new room mate, then he has just a much of a right to sleep in my room!"

"As with my room!" I decided that was enough with the arguements for tonight...

"Holy fucking shit! I'll just sleep in the living room then! Now where's that god damn futon?..." The arguement was reduced to a quiet bicker as I went upstairs to find that god damn futon. When I was gone, Vinyl and Octavia bickered amongst themselves so that I couldn't hear them still argueing.

"This is your fault! He could've already been asleep in my room if you hadn't had said anything!"

"I was just looking out for you, Vinyl! He's a stranger that nopony knows absolutely nothing about except that he has a kinfe with him all of the time, and he made cider explode when he hit the mug! I don't know about you, but I have never heard of pegasi being able to use magic before. I just wanted to keep you safe, is all."

"That's us shit, and you know it!"

Get it? "Us" shit? Ah, fuck you, that's funny!

"I'll bet you that when you met him, he came out of nowhere and walked home with you, talking sweet talk and being all charismatic, am I right?"

"No. He was sitting on ground, in front of the house... uhm... crying..." Vinyl looked away from Octavia, thinking about why I was crying, again."

"What? Why was he crying?"

"I don't know. I forgot to ask him why. I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow to ask him." After that, I came sliding downstairs on the futon, shouting "Cowa-twerk-some-grah!" (I say 'twerk some grah' **A LOT** ), as I crashed on the bottom step, and layed on my back, legs sprawled out on the floor, my body upsidedown in front of them.

"Heheh, that was a helluva lot a' fun! Anyway, I guess it's time for bed, isn't it, girls?" I looked up at Vinyl and Octavia, whom were looking down to me with expressions that looked they were saying "yo' dumb ass self shoudn't be slidin' down the god damn stairs, anyway!"

"Yeah, I guess we'll see you in the morning, then. Night, Wub!"

"G'night, Vinyl. Night, Octavia."

"I said for you to call me **miss** Octavia!" She said as she stepped over me, kicking me in the head whilst doing so.

"Octy! Why did you step over him! He could have seen your 'lady bits'!"

"What?! Ugh! You're such a pervert, Wubster!" Octavia then proceeded to trample me on the ground.

"Hmph! That's what you get, you stupid pervert..." She then followed Vinyl upstairs.

'Eugh... Well ain't that just my fuckin' luck? Have someone kick my ass when I didn't do a fuckin' thing?! I'm gonna give that son of a bitch a piece of my mind... tomorrow.' I was about to get up and get ready for bed, but then Vinyl came quickly down the stairs with a blush on her face. She ran over to me and stood above my head.

'Man, the way she's acting right now does not match her appearence, nor her attitude. Seriously, am I actually a hottie in this world? Eh, I'll find out someday, just not today.'

"So Vinyl, is there any particular reason why you're standing above my face? Or are you just standin' here just to stand here?" She looked even more nervous than before I said anything.'

"I-it... it's just that... it's no fair, I'm allowed to be sexy, too, you know?"

"Wut" Then she stepped over me like Octavia did, except she moved slower, and brushed the tip of her tail across my face and chest. My eyes flew the fuck open.

"Mmnn~ There! G-goodnight!" Then she flew back upstairs.

"Uhh... Good... Night?" I was about to finally get up, but I was interrupted, yet again...

"Wait, you did what?! WUBSTER!" I heard Octavia scream my name (and not in the good way, if ya know what I mean *WINK! WINK!*) and rush back downstairs.

'Are you shittin' me?' (Bonus points if you read that part in Billy Mays' voice)

Octavia ran over to me and tried to stomp my crotch out like a bonfire. I barely dodged her barrage of thunderous hoof-stomps, and had to roll underneath of their coffee table. "Die, you pervert!"

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I had to shout for her to listen to me. Sort of...

"How dare you make Vinyl do something so degrading, you weirdo!?"

" **She** came up to **me** and walked over to **me** without my consent! I didn't sit up, or stop her because I didn't want to make her feel any more embarrassed about it. I was just trying to be polite, okay? You wouldn't want me to upset your friend, would you?" I tried to look her in the eye and convince her, whilst being pelted with any object that she could find, sans the larger furniture, and the coffee table that I hid under.

"W-wait, she did it... herself?" When she looked me in the eyes, she somehow knew for a fact that I was telling the truth. I didn't know that when I told her the truth, my eyes shimmered a brighter shade of gold.

"A-alright, I... I believe you, Wubster... I'm... I'm sorry that I've made your first day in Ponyville an awful one." She hung her head low in sorrow.

"It's not your fault, Octavia. It's nobody's fault, so don't beat yourself up about it, okay?"

"But... but Vinyl told me that you were crying when she met you!"

"I was just... having some more personal problems, and I was feeling a little homesick. I'm fine now, so don't fret your pretty, little head about it, alright?" I pat Octavia on the head, and started to clean up the room.

"Was it because of what happened at the party? With the cider?" I stopped, sighed, and turned to face Octavia.

"Yeah, I have some... bad memories pertaining to alchohol, and since I can't get back home for a while, I won't be able to do what I do for my theraputic treatment."

"Oh... Well do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe some other time, I only just met you guys, and I don't want to depress you with my problems. Plus, I have my new friends to make me feel right at home!" I gave her a warm smile. She gave me a small smile back. We went back to cleaning up the living room soon after.

'I have heard that a lot of ponies who are always super happy and are always goofing around, do what they do because they are actually depressed inside, and they don't want the one's that they care about to ever feel what they have felt before. You might think that they never take anything seriously, but that is because they have always taken everything serious before, and it hurts for them to be serious, anymore. Wubster must have a surprisingly deep life on an emotional scale, and must be very passionate, and caring for those around him so that they don't have to feel the pain that he's felt before. He intrigues me so much with this personality...'

After we had finished cleaning up, I got on the futon and said goodnight one last time. Octavia turned off the lights as she went back upstairs. For the first time in my life, I slept easy for once without my insomnia getting in the way...


End file.
